I’ve got a beef with Plato

You, are my enemy, today. Source.

Yeah, you read that right.  Plato, I generally like you, but today; I don’t.  You had to go and create the Alarm Clock. Well, pursue the furthering of the creation of the Persian water clocks.

Plato was said to possess a large water clock with an unspecified alarm signal similar to the sound of a water organ; he used it at night, possibly for signaling the beginning of his lectures at dawn.  Source.

Who cares that you wanted to be on time for work?  Well, most of the world I guess in the long run; but that doesn’t keep you from being on my beef list today.  Then again, maybe I should be more mad at Ctesibius for helping you build your Alarm Clock.

Ctesibius fitted his clepsydras with dial and pointer for indicating the time, and added elaborate “alarm systems, which could be made to drop pebbles on a gong, or blow trumpets (by forcing bell-jars down into water and taking the compressed air through a beating reed) at pre-set times.” Source.

For all we know Ctesibius was the one with the smarts.  Crap, in further reading all of his work was destroyed, so, Plato; you’re back on the list.

These people would be on my beef list too. Source.

Then, there’s the people who got paid to “Knocker-up”.  Seriously, I would probably be throwing my chamber pot out the window, after smacking my window saying “SNOOZE DAMNIT.”  This class is quite interesting.

A knocker-up (sometimes known as a knocker-upper) was a profession in England and Ireland that started during and lasted well into the Industrial Revolution and at least as late as the 1920s, before alarm clocks were affordable or reliable. A knocker-up’s job was to rouse sleeping people so they could get to work on time. Source.

That must have been a, in the words of the Irish, shite job.  Even worse, they weren’t allowed to leave their clients window until they were awake.  Some using a long stick to rap on the window, some using a pea-shooter.  But, in the long run, you can’t be too pissed at the knocker-up’s as they also were the snuffer-outers – man, I could have gotten paid to make these names up – in which they would put out the gas lamps at night, so that you could sleep.  Seriously, check that source out above.

Maybe I should be more pissed off at James F. Reynolds, or Paul L. Schroth Sr., who in the 1940’s designed the Radio Alarm Clocks.  I really want to know who decided what the Alarm noise would be ultimately however.  We all know it, that screeching, wailing, “WAAAAH WAAAAAH WAAAAH!” noise.  That noise has been embedded in my brain, and I cannot get rid of it; which is why I use my cell phone.

Other than my microwaves clock, I don’t use anything other than my cell phone, which as this lovely “BEEEEEEP BEEEEEEP BEEEEEEP,” noise that is just a little better than the aforementioned annoyance to humanity.  It also has a guitar tone, which I found quite appealing at first, and now is probably the reason that I haven’t picked my guitar up in a couple of weeks.

In the long run, I really shouldn’t be pissed at anyone other than my neighbor who decided to party again last night, or maybe, more at myself for answering those 12 am text messages; or maybe, just maybe, I am really pissed at whomever designed my couch.  Because, designing a couch that can comfortably fit a six foot three person isn’t that hard.

I just realized that I’ve been pretty negative lately, I’ll attempt to rectify that with some more positive writing.

I’ve got my eye on you Plato.


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